TO TREAT WITH RESPECT VS. GIVE RESPECT

I know that this will probably piss some people off and that's fine. I'm not sharing 
this to get people to agree with me or anything like that. I just wanted to put this 
out in the open and get it out of my head. This is my opinion and that is all agree 
or not, it is what it is. You know how it is opinions are like asshole everyone has 
one and no one wants to hear yours. Well apparently for whatever reason you've 
made the conscience decision to hear mine. So here it goes! 

To Treat With Respect: To act or behave toward (a person) in some specified way: 

show deferential regard for; esteem or admiration. Some might call this level of 
respect just being civil or polite. (This doesn't require you to actually respect or 
admire the person, just to treat them with kindness and be polite. Generally this is 
something that is demanded or brought on by force, not earned). 

Give Respect: To freely and willingly admire or regard someone, to hold someone in 
high esteem. (Generally this is someone you feel as though who has 
earned this level of respect and it is not just given due to accident of birth). 

Many people who think of themselves in high esteem or stature tend to demand respect.
These same people also tend to forget why respect is Given in the first place. I do 
believe we should for the most part respect everyone including but not limited to; 
elders, armed forces, ect... However many of these said people may not be someone you 
actually respect due to having done things you deem to be worthy of withdrawal 
of your respect. These are times I feel we Treat with respect. It's not 
really something we feel they have earned. You don't just give the real stuff out all 
willy-nilly and everything. This is more like the stuff you feel obligated rather than 
wanting to give. That's not to say we are going to disrespect these people it just 
means the level of respect is greatly diminished. 

Then there's the people who we Give respect. They typically don't ask for it, don't 
demand it, don't even expect it but they still get it because you feel as though they 
Earned it. Not by accident of birth, not because they are older, not because they served,
but they have whole-heartedly and selflessly done right by others and earned it. 

Personally I struggle with the "demanders" because sadly more often than not, in my 
personal experience, these are the ones who deserve the least. For instance those who
have served I'll respect you for putting your ass on the line. However, if all you 
did was put you ass on the line (and not to say that is a small task) and then for the 
rest of your life you are an asshole you my self-righteous friend are getting the bottom 
of the barrel. It's not a one and done kind of thing you have to keep doing Good things 
after you have committed your selfless act of enlisting. Same thing goes for police. The major difference being your enlistment period is longer and often a thankless job. You can't just be a cop and expect to get respect. You have to be a Good Cop and anything else you are; 
spouse/parent/sibling and earn respect. This doesn't just apply to our armed forces.
This is for everyone. 
You're a Parent-show your kid(s) much they mean to you and not 
just by showering them with gifts but actually pay attention to them and being there for 
them and not making everything about you. 
You're a Spouse-Be Faithful and listen and 
show them how much you love and need them and no matter how hard times may get 
you will always stick by their side, ect... 

In my honest opinion this isn't something that should be thrown at everyone we see. 
Don't get me wrong always be kind and sincere essentially treating others with respect.
Why stoop to their level by intentionally being disrespectful or rude but I mean 
come on if you give the fully loaded real stuff out to everyone we are just enabling their 
behavior and then the whole thing starts to lose it's meaning when it comes to those who 
really deserve it. Sometimes though there will come a time when we are going to be 
direct and honest and are doing so out of Love and or Respect. Not doing this is 
to be building a relationship on a facade and if we have to do so in order to have a 
relationship in any way shape or form, it's probably going to hurt others in the process.


If you want to ensure I'll never respect you, here is a hot button list:

-Be disloyal to your spouse (i.e. cheat) This doesn't just hurt your spouse, it hurts your family.

-Be mentally and or physically abusive; to your spouse or kids.

-Choose substance abuse over your family (i.e. excessive drinking, heavy drug use. 
especially around your kids)

-Make your kids feel like a burden.

-Make your kids feel unimportant.

-Burden your children with the failures of your marriage. (Also referred to as Over-sharing
which intentionally or unintentionally is pitting them against the other parent).

-Consider violence or threatening with the insinuation of violence as a serious option for making people see your way.